Claire s Adventures in Late Adolescent Ennui Part ...

Two Very Different Affairs Related to Pureblood Fanaticism Whilst I had decided to give the dance a miss in year 10, expecting it to be much like the rather dull river-cruises of years 8 and 9, I knew that their was no way in hell that I’d miss out on year 11 Mocktail, purely because it presented the opportunity for fancy dress. As Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows had just been released I decided to go as Bellatrix Lestrange, seeing as she “puts the ‘fun’ back in fundamentalist psycho”... read more

Killer. Thriller. One Liner. Second semester meant my second pantomime, and as I was already a member of the society at that point I had the opportunity to contribute to the creation of the script. After the society had agreed upon the plot premise and the writing team had come up with characters and the plot, members of the writing team were each assigned scenes to script with a general outline of what was to happen in each scene. Roland and I were assigned scene 10, which happened to...

Drink Me, I’m Shaken and Not Stirred Hayley provided me with various aspects of my Mad Hatter costume, including the top hat, for the performance. In Pantosoc’s twisted vision the Mat Hatter is the owner of the Insanitea, “the most frabulous bar and hotel in all of Wonderland” and the Hare is a lesbian stripper. In the script, when the Mad Hatter attempts to explain this idea to a confused James Bond, I was merely supposed to whisper something incomprehensible in his ear. During auditions...

Finally Out For-Fucking-Ever High School Graduation took place at the University of Western Australia, under the great organ (what...shut up) and amongst the stain glass windows of Winthrop Hall. It was pretty dull, and I didn’t get any of the numerous prizes being handed out to the graduating students, which didn’t do much to feed my ever hungry ego that was already suffering from my emotional low. Most of the academic prizes went to a girl whom I’d always had the impression of being...

Let’s Hope Neurosis Isn’t Genetic Meanwhile in the US of A… ABBOTT DNA SPAWNED ANOTHER POTENTIAL ANTI-CHRIST ‘Cause I just know my gene pool’s destined for something great. Oh yes. A schizophrenic did once call my mother the daughter of the devil ya know. Anyway, if my niece is your future unholy master, boy, are you guys in for a treat, ‘cause she’s gonna be the cutest darn demonic messiah ever to turn water into BLOOD. Of course, my sister’s...

Describe the latter part of your adolescence in 42 000 words or more… What you are about to read is a revealing and real-life account of obsession, terror, nihilism, depression, disillusionment, bizarre mental tribulations, misguided priorities, physical and mental endurance, awkward sexual scenarios, strained family relations, emotional isolation, gender confusion, racial confusion, plain confusion, scholastic stress, life, death, family drama, dramatic drama, new depths of...