My anxiety level is so feakin high. My heart is racing as is my mind. J is sitting across from me right now and has no idea how truly miserable I am. The suicide thoughts are coming back and I think it is because I have lost my light at the end of the tunnel again. I can NOT imagine living like this forever. Plus I want to cut so damn bad. I mean BAD! He has to take baby girl to the doctor later on today and I know I should go to keep myself safe but I don't have the energy to. Seems like a no win... read more
